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ucapmu
ucapku
dilisankan
dilafalkan
tertuliskan

satu kata kita
satu bahasa
satu arti mereka
banyak arti kita

.....
diam
memaknai
sampai tiba pada . (titik)
. bahasa kita


(ketika kita berbicara dalam kata yang sama tapi dalam bahasa yang berbeda)

parutan

terbangun dari mimpi yang tak teringatkan lagi
menggeliat
mengerjap mata
mengucap doa
mengusap wajah
kasar
ternoda
lengket dan lembab

gurat parut di wajah
tersamar di pagi subuh
wajar
sempurna
jujur
apa adanya

kembali pada pagi
terasa sama
selalu terang
parut di wajah yang juga sama

bukan bekas luka
bukan tanda lahir
tercipta karena pagi
tergores oleh siang
ternoda akibat malam

pemutih
perona
penyamar
tak menghilangkan bentuknya
parut bercerita tentang
goresan hidup
kerdipan setiap mata
butiran tetes keringat

wajah berparut
pagi hari tanpa parut di wajah
kembali terlelap untuk bermimpi yang tak teringatkan lagi
bukan sebuah mimpi yang basah
hanya mimpi yang terparut di wajah


(puisi untuk pagi dan mimpi serta wajah juga hidup termasuk cinta)

syndrome

"nice husband, good apartment, decent salary, great time for fun, but still, what am i complaining of? those bloody works at the office?"
"but still...great pay cheque in your age, toch?"
"what are we doing?"
"early 30's syndrome probably? what you have is better than mine"
"what syndrome?"
"life syndrome"
"live to work or work to live?"
"live to eat or eat to live?"
"that's completely two different things!"
" i know...i am just asking to myself"
"i think work to live...optimistic"
"i think live to eat"
" hah?...."
"......."
"work to live means we like and enjoy what we are doing and that makes us live"
"and without you realize it you become workaholic"
" no....because i enjoy it"
"mine is live to work and live to eat"
"???"
"i live because i work and i need to eat otherwise i'll just a flesh or skeleton"
"why?"
"no ambition...you?"
"i want more and better"
"good.....spread your energy to me"
"how are they doing?"
"live with lausy husbands, rented house, noisy kids, tired time for fun, standard salary, and still want more...a little bit freaking me out about marriage"
"i am blessed?
"yes, you are...me too"
"single, good rented room, quite decent salary, great time for fun, and still complaining as well, hahahha...."
"hahaha.....life begins at 30's...it's true"
"grown up"
"getting older"
"love story?"
"all the way"
"it's there"
"keeps us alive too"
"married and single.....cheers"
"cheers"

long weekend

result of my last long weekend:

"kamu itu galak, ana!"

"&^%#*%$^@........" kata saya (nyengir gak jelas...mengiyakan dengan sedikit rasa berat hati)

"tips untuk mengatasinya: dengarkan mereka"

"*^$#%%#%^@........" kata saya lagi (prasaan dah menjadi pendengar yang baik slama ini)

"tips kedua: dengerin saya!"

*##%$^$#^@!(&^$$...." kata saya juga (iya...sambil nunduk kepala..)

"tips ketiga: jangan banyak omong, terkesan sok pinter"

*&^$^$#@@$^&........" kata saya sekali lagi (oops...kurang rendah hati?)

"pokoknya gitu deh....susah emang ngerubah yang dianggap default characteristic itu"

"be myself aja ya?" kata saya akhirnya (masih tetep nyengir tapi dah gak terlalu berat hati). "terserah mo bilang saya suka ngegosip, crewet, blagu, sok pinter...this is me...ana" senyum saya dengan tulus. "can you handle it?. i can handle you..and you" ternyata tetap saya yang terkesan selalu sok tau dan sok pinter serta...ternyata susah ngedengerin orang lain karena mrasa dah tau apa yang akan mereka bilang.

kesimpulan saya: Harus lebih belajar mendengarkan orang lain biar lebih objectip dalam bersikap.

huuuuuh...what a restless long weekend to me ...fiiiiuuughh....lelah deeeeh...

sunshine

'so..? how's the sunshine?'
'it's warm'
'like it?'
'hhhmm...'
'you will...'
'with its vitamin D?'
'yaaa...come, sit here!where is the moonlight?'
'covered by the cloud'
'open the window and you'll have that sunshine always'
''cos, i hold the sun with me?'
'yes, you do'

...dan ketika*

...............
"sejujurnya kadang akupun tak mengerti,
peran apa yang kita jalani
...........
"bila memang bukan kita yang tentukan,
kemana arah cinta ini kan membawa,
berikanlah aku satu jalanmu, Tuhan,
agar aku mengerti apa yang kita jalani ...."
..........

*taken from maliq&d'essential - free your mind album

(tired to translate it, as tired as to talk about ...love...then shut up!!!,pathetic!..hihiihii ;p)

contact

"better lost contact than say i won't contact you anymore"

(no regret just God's watching me...;-))

other side

'you're skinny'

'no, i am not'

'i think you are'

..............

'you need to try to broader your view'

'i think i have'

'not enough'

..............

other sides have different point of view, sometimes, that's normal...it's the same when last night i watched television and couldn't stopped complaining about my government. i knew it would have happened but when it was finally happened i ...disappointed as the other side.

the cabinet reshuffle...aside from comment of my country's political experts that "this reshuffle didn't see people needs and filled with political interests especially for the sake of government's image"(conclusion i've made from many experts' comment on kompas newspaper).

I met my colleagues who work at ministry of home affair, we believe that the minister of this department would be exchanged due to his illness...but voila...nope, he's still there....struggling with his illness and all our home affair's issues...including violence issue in his 'school'.

according to eep saefulloh, our president's decision was made to avoid any harm on the parties' representation in his cabinet. unbelievable....SBY (the name of our president...well i don't remember his real name anymore because people spell it differently...ekekekek...). okay, he has his prerogative right but come on...where is his sense of managing this country and fight for our people's right? he would say that what he has done are for our people? which people? in porong sidoarjo? in aceh? in villages? on the streets? in the jails (many crimes happened because of the unemployment).

what is he afraid of? getting fired? becoming poor? losing his image? what image?

well, mr. president, you can fire any of your staffs you have chosen before whenever and whatever you want but do you remember that it means you are incapable of deciding, chosing, managing, positioning, and thinking of your action to our people?

sorry to see your tired face on television (why are you tired anyway? tired to please all parties, colleagues? or tired of thinking about our people? who do you think we are? puppet?). really sorry for my people who actually can optimize to use all the cost you spent for the last 7 months that just for meeting, talking and shouting to reshuffling your cabinet. (kompas)

(thanks God, i didn't vote for him!!! as the other side i take any consequences of writing this. I love my country, i love my people, and i love my mom)

must have

i admit i made fun of their performance in Jak-jazz last year, but can't resist their charm.
a must have CD of them-Maliq & d'essential- free your mind.
getting better for my ears and my move..:D

ghost attached

what happened with this week?

could it be right that 'the cibodas' ghost' come with me to Jakarta? last Saturday i took a trip to this waterfall, a friend of mine said that we should have watched our language, mouth and behaviour in that place otherwise bad things could be happened to us....[sigh].

i just got a called from my new teacher and said that he is sick thus our first meeting should be rescheduled to next week and he will give extra time to teach me. I was so excited with this lesson, i've been waiting for my whole life to learn about this...one of my childhood's dreams...:(

yesterday, my friend canceled our meeting (almost) in the last minutes and last night i didn't feel good to come to another class....dizzy, sleepy and tired. but late evening i was capable of watching 2 dvd films...;D

2 days ago, i skipped pilates class for a silly reason. just because i had visited this down town area couple hours before for a meeting and i went back to my place afterward. it was raining and i was stuck in a traffic for quite some time then, i lost my mood to come to the same area twice in a day. funny thing is i actually went back to this area because i chose a place there for a dinner with a friend...:p

a day before 2 days ago - tuesday- i was ready for my pilates class (this is the exact schedule for pilates class), again..just because there was big demonstration for 'May Day' almost everywhere in Jakarta, the teacher rescheduled it to Wednesday which is i didn't come...:(

scheduled...rescheduled..planned..unplanned...are part of my life, sometimes bring to the right track but sometimes can ruin my whole day or week.....depends on my plan B, C or D to back up my plan A and enjoy the rest of the day. but, 'a ghost rider' is taking part here?....i don't think so..:-). it's just me and the other parties....no ghost attached here, right ghost? hihiii....

45

'she asked if i am 45'
'45?'
'not my age!...my weight'
'oooh...'
'clothes...can fake our appearance toch?'
'hehee...yup...............gym?'
'gym???...................aaaaah....you know i don't like sport'
'come on....'
'i skipped my pilates class to day instead i put more calories with my dinner'
'we can join many kind of classes there...yoga...you like yoga, pilates...you do it currently...body building...anything you want........so?'
'hhhmmm.....i am afraid'
'of what?'
'getting bored and then quitting ....i won't look like 45 again........dancing?'
'what for? he won't do that'
'for sport, relaxation, fun, and you can dance for him'
'okay.....gym! started next month.....'
'hhhhhhhhmmmm.........my schedule is already packed everyday'
'then not even for dancing'

(healthy mind constructs healthy body and creates body shape. anna-1975)

magabut

ever heard this term? "magabut (makan gaji buta)-enjoy the paycheck without a lot of work". got this term from my friend long time ago when she thought she was just magabut...hehe..at her office.

to day, i can be magabut ..
finished my tasks today but the bosses are not around till end of this week to report our project progress and set the next step or schedule. assistant is not around either.

oh well...i will just enjoy this day then...
browsing for my bandung trip- whole morning-called here and there,
having lunch with old friends,
going back to the office (for renstrada and RKPD?) or shopping??

feel guilty? why should i?...i do my duties and finish my tasks right on the schedule.

Happy magabut to day......