r u..?

'are you married?' (rhetoric question)
'never'
'but you have a girl friend' (again...rhetoric)
'yup, and she doesn't have to know about that' (big smiled)
'then you are married...in your heart' (curious)
'well...my heart is changing all the time..depend' (again...big smiled)
continued...
'there are many things to be considered to get married, still ..no need to get married'
' cos you already get almost everything you need even by not tighten up in a marriage, right?' (tried to dig deeper)
'sort of...' (damned!...no explanation)
'and you both free financially...right and good in bed?' (straight and jealous)
'yup...are you?' (fight back?)
'i am just a human' (tried to answer in a universal language...which is really bad shot)
'afraid of something?'
'well, married or not...we both are afraid of something, right?'
'what is life?' (changed the subject?)
'afraid is life, happy is life, suffering is life and ....love is life' (started confussing)
'i meant the meaning of life' (looked at to the sky)
'life is dedication?' (tried to get some feedback)
'life is suck?' (looked around)
'cos you don't dedicate enough' (deadend!)
'to whom?'
'yourself, everybody...and God?' (sensitive area....'cos doesn't believe in God?)
'and to you?'
'no...to her...you're just messing around with me and using me ' (strong voice!)
'hahahhaa.............'
'hu uh! dasar edan!'

...me

....
no dream
no..
nothing
blank...
gone...
tried so...so..hard to find it again but...
nope...
no dream
in me....


(facing my b'day in excitement?...not so sure anymore, though it's still a big day for me. but thanks friends for arranging 'little' party later for me ya...really appreciate it :-) looking forward to paying that party...hahahha, perhaps you all can help me to bring back my dreams)

princess' gift

today, in land far...far away from here that is cold, snowy and windy, there is a princess called Mathilde who is happy and excited facing her day because today is her birthday. she is expecting to get her birthday gift from her parents....a microphone...:-).

well, princess Mathilde only understands that she wants to explore her other talent in art..which is singing. she knows that she needs a microphone to learn singing in better way rather to do lips sync. she has all the karaoke VCD she needs but she won't be able to perform like her idol if she doesn't have a mic.
no matter what people think about her voice, she just wants to sing, that's it! nothing more...

within ten days from princess Mathilde b'day, in this land that is humid, warm, and sometimes rainy.....there's another princess who is also excited facing her days because that day is also her birthday. she isn't expecting any gift from her parents, she just expects the unexpected thing happened in her life.
well, this princess only understands that she gets the best in her life. she just likes to please herself by cherish her b'day with something she really wants.
no matter how painful, expensive and irrational it is...she tries to get it.

for them birthday is more than a new year, birthday is the time they can reflex their life, the time they can explore more about what they want and want to be ...within one year.

(happy birthday my dear princess Mathilde ...be a good girl ya, ...love, tante ana)

water

God....many thanks for giving me the water in my life
You have showered me with it
God...I just can't believe i live without it
God..thanks...for everything ya

Then...
God...help us to take care of this valuable source ....especially here in Jakarta!
for our future generation
love us always ...
showering us always with your love

God...humble me, always ya

My goodness.....2 days without water to take a shower??? unbelievable...

can't imagine those who do not have any water at all even for drinking

(stink, humid, sweaty, dirty, and....thirsty...i am so sorry, my friends)

serpihan

masih terserak di sana ...
dan rasanya akan tetap terserak di sana...
sampai akhirnya meleleh dengan sendirinya akibat tertimpa hujan dan panas

serpihan itu terbang ....
melayang dan jatuh di sana...
masih terlihat tapi tak terjamah

serpihan itu tak kan bisa dikumpulkan kembali
hancur dan berserak...
dipungutpun tak kan ada gunanya...

biar..biarkan serpihan itu tenang di sana
menjadi wujudnya yang baru....sebagai...
serpihan...

(memory sekumpulan serpihan)

tertawa

2 Januari 2007, pukul 10.00AM

awal tahun, awal hari
mentertawakan diri sendiri
atas.....
kebodohan?....mungkin
ketakutan? ...bisa jadi
kekonyolan? ....amat sangat mungkin
Kenaivean?....tertawa empati saja
kecerobohan?....patut ditertawai juga
kehampaan?....ngakak :))

kebahagiaan?....layak ditertawai

kenyamanan?....harus ditertawai

ketergesaan?....ngakak abisss

yang dilakukan selama setahun lalu

daftar 'ke-an' itu ternyata bisa banyak

mentertawakan diri sendiri

membuat lega

membuat kuat dan siap atas

'ke- an'..dan 'ke-an'....yang akan datang

(tertawa dalam hati saja yang keras atas itu semua....cukup!!)